


The portmanteau files

by Anonymous



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:14:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A gift from Portmanteau Slug, the large intestine of the Mohn Julaney Collective.





	The portmanteau files

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HalfpennyDreadfuls](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=HalfpennyDreadfuls), [Katsitting (Nekositting)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekositting/gifts), [SupremeBotDaddy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupremeBotDaddy/gifts), [peixe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peixe/gifts).



As an introduction, I would like to start by showing you the first of many poorly done portmanteaus, and the even lower quality analysis of it.There will be more to come, regardless of how much you will most certainly hate it. 

Snake * slug  
Snug  
Snag  
Snuk  
Snookie   
Or   
Snag   
Snas  
Snas=sans  
So, sans from undertale= snake*slug  
So Voldemort is sans and sans is a variation of Snookie. So Voldemort is from new jersey. New jersey has trash, so Voldemort is trash. Or more accurately, Voldemort is a smiling new jersey trash bag. (This particular portmanteau has a rather unique origin, as it started with a discussion on salt, the conversation derailed,and a cult was born. An off comment of "All that salt must be shriveling your soul." set up the events that caused a flood of so called "Salt Eaters". The rise and fall of Lord Sludgemort shall remain unmentioned, history has forgotten them, and they lie dead in the grime of their sludgy soul.)  
Jizzipient * jizzer  
Jizzipieer  
Jizzipeer  
Jesus' peer  
Jizzipeer sounds similar to 'Jesus' peer'. If Jesus and Jizz are peers, then Jizz has to be a person/otherwordly being. They also must share a status of some sort. So Jizz is either holy, or Jizz and Jesus work together. Perhaps both are the children of God? Or, both serve as the mouthpieces of God. As he is a mouthpiece of God, he is either holy or a preacher of some sort. Even if the messages through this garbled mouthpiece are paraphrased, they should hold strong. And as his name would be 'Jizz', perhaps this too is a message that procreation for the sake of pleasure is accepted by the Lord.It is also a possibility that the name "Jizz" is an acronym. For "Jesus Is watching Zexal, Zounds!" As "zounds" can either show surprise or be used in the place of an expletive, (ie: he made more pasta, zounds! Or "Zounds! You scared me Peixe, you soggy noodle!") it can be drawn from this acronym that God was both surprised and frightened by Yugioh Zexal.  
As an alternate to this explanation, it could be that Jesus has conference meetings weekly with his coworker, Jizz.  
Or, as there is another route for the portmanteau to take:  
jizzipier  
Jizziplier  
Markiplier  
Jizz made Markiplier, or half of him as a sperm cell only carries 23 chromosomes. Which was made in the process of meiosis, which carries the same steps as mitosis, as it is a form of cell division, but gives you four parts total, or 4 cells with each full round of division. As Markiplier is assumed to be a mammal, this makes sense. But, the fact that this needs to be explicitly stated brings suspicion upon Markiplier's supposed humanity. But this could also imply that Markiplier cannot reproduce sexually, showing that he is indeed his own species, as asexual reproduction is usually done through the splitting of cells, Markiplier could just be 7000 amoebas in a human trench coat. Or alternately, it could be a sign of his inherently sexual nature, meaning he could possibly go through exceptionally strong spells of lust on a daily basis. Meaning No Nut November is not a possibility for Markiplier. As No Nut November is a sainted and holy tradition on the platform known as the internet, Markiplier could have possibly unholy origin. As lust is one of the seven deadly sins in the Abrahamic religions, perhaps he is a demon of this particular sin. An incubus or succubus in the midst of mortals. As he is a demon of sex, perhaps he attempts to entice us lowly mortals, an example of this being the recently released naked calendars. Not only that, but the calender's were rather costly, and despite the fact all proceeds form the product were to go to charity, it was a costly calendar. Hinting at yet another sin Markiplier embodies, greed. From this the assumption that he is not an incubus/succubus, but another beast entirely. Perhaps, Markiplier is Satan himself? This needs further investigation...  
(This particular portmanteau came to be after a rather humorous image with the words "Jizzer and "jizzipient", with the latter being a portmanteau of the words jizz and recipient. If disregarding everything about Markiplier's personality destroying logic, and using portmanteaus as valid evidence was something that happened in the real world, this would actually be a great profession for me to look into. But what I found most intriguing was the fact that this short essay stunned Itsy into silence, if only for a moment.)  
.  
And thus concludes the short essay of assumptions drawn from badly done portmanteaus.  
Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> "Souls and slugs are one in the same. As shown by the effects of salt on the soul."-Lord Sludgemort.


End file.
